


Cruel & Unusual

by TheFightingBull



Series: That's General Sephiroth To You [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: It's funny because it's true, Lame Punishments Are Lame, Not Graphic In The Slightest Bit Mentions of Violence, Report writing, Sephiroth Being A BAMF, Stupid-Short, Too Short For This Many Tags, War, You'll Get That Tag If You Read The Story, long worthless tags, still no smut yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 02:29:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15281601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFightingBull/pseuds/TheFightingBull
Summary: The incredibly accurate report writing of Reno...





	Cruel & Unusual

Reno frowned at the computer he was sitting in front of. He’d messed up. Big time. But the punishment did not fit the crime! This punishment was cruel and unusual. Not to mention a major pain in the ass. While he understood that there would be consequences to lacing Rufus’ desert with ex-lax, he never expected to be forced to do _this_.

He looked up as a Tseng entered the office that Reno and Rude shared, looking like he was in a terrible mood. Tseng’s face was sharply pinched when his dark eyes fell on him. 

Constipated. 

He looked constipated with irritation and annoyance. 

Reno couldn’t help but smirk as he looked a man that many referred to as ‘Death’ right in the eyes. “Yo,” He greeted casually. 

“This report is unacceptable.” Tseng stated in that calm level voice that hid just how pissed off he was. 

His superior set down a page beside the keyboard that Reno had known wouldn’t go over well with the board. Still, there wasn’t much more he could do. He’d written down everything he saw, and he was going to stand by it. Actually, he challenged anyone to do better!

“No way! I wrote down exactly what I saw, yo!” Reno insisted. 

“Your report in its entirety states and I quote, ‘Sephiroth walks north west toward a group of men after leaping from the helicopter at 2219hrs. Blurred brown. Blurred red. Orange. More orange. Blurred grey and brown. Sephiroth is seated in the helicopter at 2256hrs. No sound. Nothing further to report.’ That’s it.”

“And?”

Tseng’s brown eyes narrowed as he walked around Reno’s desk so that he could look at the computer for himself. 

“I think the others who used to write Sephiroth’s reports just made shit up, yo.” Reno grumbled as the elder Turk leaned over him and his desk to pull up the video in question. “If you can make heads or tails of that shit, then you can write it.” 

Tseng ignored him, but Reno still smiled triumphantly at him. He knew there was no way even Tseng would be able to decipher what in the Hell the general had done to the group of men. He glanced at the video and almost laughed when Tseng kept trying to render or sharpen the image into something distinguishable.

Finally, after fiddling with all kinds of settings for several long minutes, Tseng grunted as he stood back up to his full height. 

“See!” Reno grinned. 

“Am I to assume your next report will be much the same?” 

“Already done, yo.” Reno handed him a sheet of paper that was nearly identical to the previous. No helicopter though. That was traded for a train. 

Tseng harrumphed again as his eyes read over the short paragraph. 

“What? I don’t know why we don’t make Sephiroth write his own damned reports!” Reno sneered. “His body cams are pretty much useless, yo!”

“Hence the reason we hand the duties down to Turks who cross lines they shouldn’t.” Tseng retorted. “Besides, no one wants Sephiroth to write his own reports ever again.” Tseng actually shuddered before he added. “Not after the last one.” 


End file.
